It's like a drug which soothes me whenever i'm down/out/frustrated/furious. You, and the com. Of cos, it isn't entirely substitutable. But it serves as a distraction, to wadever unhappiness i'm facing. You can tell the difference when i'm with neither.

I told myself that i won't do it. But my emotions and righteousness won't listen. And i really hate it. One of these days, i'll do something i'll regret for the rest of my life.

Sometimes my mind wanders off.. Thinking bout things which shdn't be thought.. And whenever i feel bad, i start putting the blame on others.. Oh well. Perhaps i can consider this to be an 'alone' time? Still, I hate this kind of 'abandoned' feeling. Oh well. Forget about it.

You know, a little support and understanding goes a long way.. Even if the person is at fault, words of encouragement can help.. Instead of being too 'real' and pointing out their mistakes, which might make them more hysterical actually, being patient is the best remedy. Like a parent to a growing child.

Ah, everything is so unpredictable. Esp with all the stuff happening.. Really, in this world, ANYTHING can happen.. And i hope i will have the luck and capability to avoid it.

I'm learning to be more patient.. Patient.. PATIENT!!! Ah, went over the top. What impatience. Still got a long way to go. No, dun question me. Let it be.


I wanna be normal too..

Labels: confused, random

It's been awhile. I've been lazy.

Still pretty confused up there, with all the contradicting thoughts.

I promised i'll do anything. Well, mentally only, of course. But all of it vanished as soon as something unexpected happens. As usual, i only let my emotions get the better of me.

But, but. Will this ever change? I strictly doubt so. But again, for that little piece of dream i've held on to, i have to do my best.

Shd i make new year's resolutions? Hmm.. Nah, i shd make a shopping list instead. Here goes:

- Vaio pink! (Cant rmb type.)
- Any camera above 10mp.
- White boots
- Rilakkuma plush with scarf n mittens!
- Coenzyme Q10 products
- Eye/face masks
- Vera Wang Princess perfume!

Bought a rilakkuma tote bag today! :)

Ah, ought to spend less. Damn the economic crisis for giving no chance for ot! I honestly need more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ for the above. :(

But then again, i actually prefer it :S Not for the no extra income though.

Labels: :3, checklist, confused, thoughts